Updated: Apr 17, 2020
Managing Conflict is not an easy task. Especially if your title falls in to the category of "Leader". Throughout my career, I have Coached Leaders and Mediated situations where conflict could not be reconciled. Some had been in conflict for several months or years. with the latter, others tend to get drawn in to the dispute. This is what I call the "Team Challenge." Sometimes it really does take an independent party to hear all sides clearly and remove the debris (or people) so you can find common ground and remove the "pain" that has festered.
Mignon McLaughlin is quoted as saying, "We only hear half of what is said to us, understand only half of that, and remember only half of that." So if we are receive 12.5% of everything that is spoken, then it is no surprise that conflict happens.
When I speak to leaders and workforce staff, I ask them to be present. Specifically i ask them to keep in mind three things. 1. SEE ME 2. HEAR ME 3. ACKNOWLEDGE ME. The most important is Number 3, because if you are acknowledging your chat partners, you are doing #1 and #2. It tends to keep the high blood pressure levels to a minimum.
Whether you are in leadership, the general population, entrepreneur or independent contractor, managing conflict can be done without pain if you commit to the following...
* Understand what you can/can't control
* Be present in the conversation
* Focus on the issue and not the people
* Ask for clarification
* OWN ONLY YOUR OWN STUFF AND NOT THE STUFF BROUGHT TO YOU TO FIX
* OWN and PARTNER on the SUSTAINABLE SOLUTIONS!
Important to note is that you don't have to be in a leadership position to "set the tone". Sometimes you have to MANAGE UP, SIDEWAYS AND DOWN from where you are in the hierarchy.
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